Curiosity Killed The Cat
by In Love With A Dead Warrior
Summary: Look inside for full summery, this is a crackfic! humourous romance at the end and seriousness in time travel all in one, enjoy m for lemon at the end along with references and drug use it one palce but just for giggles. slahs but not till very end. enjoy


**Hey, I know I'm writing a harry potter story but this fic just literally popped into my head as I was walking and I continued it in my head. Now I understand how crackfics come to be. I must be more delusional than I thought. You see, I'm not feeling very well, on top of it all my best friend was sent to this place for crazy people(they say that it ISN'T a psyche ward but well I disagree) so I stretched thin mentally at the moment. **

**Enjoy this fic, I'm in the process of hopefully getting a beta, I'm just reading up a bit before I contact her again. The summery of this is well, tis complicated and may not be totally correct cause I haven't wrote the fic yet, I'm getting to it though so if it isn't accurate then don't be upset.**

**Harry goes sent in time and meets his parents, Voldemort and all the other people in 1979, including his favorite teachers and his headmaster. This totally ignores most of the books, since this is a crackfic it will not make sense timeline wise or anything at all, cause its not suppose to! Sirius doesn't die, and Have fun trying to understand my riDICULUS stressed out brain, this is, well not to ruin it but, its not exactly a harry gets with Ginny, or any other FEMALE for that matter , but swear if you don't like slash read it! After all romance is NOT the main theme! This has EVERYTHING in it, its is a crack fic with a serious part to it, with a romance at the end that includes my VERY first lemon, but you can skip over it if you must look for the big bold letters warning you where it is, but you HAVE to read the end, end of it, it doesn't have anything of Harry and his gay lover being gay I promise, don't let the slash stop you cause it doesn't even come in until the last like couple paragraphs.**

**Ajhena: She's not so far gone to forget me or the disclaimer, so here it is, she doesn't own Harry Potter and any character from it, have fun and enjoy reading!**

**V: Wow, if I weren't so sickly and mentally tired I'd go off on a tangent about how you were actually nice for once. But I won't, bye!**

Harry Potter was walking around the forbidden forest in the middle of the night, why you ask? Up yours! Was the answer, what business did all you people have to know why, especially if he didn't even know so…yea go celebrate or something.

So, anyway he was walking and decided he'd like to see the thestral cause they were lovely this time of year you know, such morbid things, Harry loved them. He walked into the clearing where they lived and breeded. As he was trying to find buckbeak, he saw to thestral making babies and doing the nasties, lovely. Penguins were such fond creatures after all.

He soon found the hippogriff buckbeak who had rescued his more than slightly eccentric godfather in 3rd year. Oddly enough he liked to hang out with his cousin who happened to be a thestral so was most likely always found in this glade which was known for housing the death like creatures.

Harry fondly patted his favorite thestral, Nemo who nipped him back affectionately, or hungrily harry never knew really. He patted buckbeak as he conversed with his cousin in whatever language animals talked to each to her in. He looked around and being the observant person he was saw a patch of delicious looking mushrooms or at least they looked some what like mushrooms maybe like half mushroom half rutabaga. He hadn't eaten dinner and he was up for natures challenge, so he stepped over to them and reached for one to pluck it up. This is a voice that suspiciously sounded like Hermione spoke up.

"_Harry, you know you shouldn't eat just anything you find lying around, after all this is a MAGICAL forest and evil at that, who knows what the plants and growth could do to you!" _Harry had to admit this sounded logical but just then, a creature that oddly looked like Dobby but only 3 inches short and was all blue popped up next to the patch of shroomabega. (As harry started to call them)

The mini dobby looked at him with wide blood shot eyes and smiled a horribly disgusting smile at him. It looked like he hadn't seen a dentist for centuries. _Maybe he should visit Mr. and Mrs. Granger. _Harry thought, he couldn't' extend this thought longer because the little brownie like elf creature Dobby started talking.

"Well? What are you staring at? Eat one! They're tasty; they taste like sardines, with peanut butter, fish eggs and horse radish blended with a nice consistent raspberry flavored pudding!" It just so happened that Harry LOVED sardine-peanut butter-fish egg-horse raddish-rasberry flavored pudding! He eagerly reached for one and put it up to his mouth, the mini dobby smiled at him while Hermione started screeching,

"_Put that down! He's obviously dangerous and tricking you! Harry Potter don't you dare, are you listening to me?!" _But alas, harry was ignoring his inner Hermione voice and simply said, _cheers Hermione! _Before popping the shroomabega in his mouth and chewing it before swallowing the whole thing. He smiled as he realized that mini dobby was right, yum! He looked down and noticed mini dobby was rolling a joint and politely offered him one. Harry could do nothing but except, after all the Dursleys HAD beat manners into him, and it would be rude not to accept the dobby look-alikes tasty treat. His head felt a little fuzzy and noticed there was a lot of noise around him. Since when did trees talk? Oh well, they sounded pretty sophisticated for a tree, and it WAS a magical forest so why not?

Harry accepted and smoked for a while, all the while chatting up with the nearest tree, who told a lot of rather good jokes. He realized it must have been a little late; it was already half past three! Well, a little lateness to class would only get him a detention. He started up towards Hogwarts and was at the doors when he realized he didn't have class, joyfully he decided to have a spot of tea, after all isn't that what Americans excepted the British to do? Who to have it with though? Hmmmmm. A light bulb went off in his head, who better than professor Trelawney?! After all he never did like Severus much, and Sirius was home, Ron wouldn't appreciate tea and Hermione would just yell at him for whatever reason. Of course he could have always asked the headmaster but he no doubt was having tea with McGonagall, after all every Tuesday night he went by the headmaster's office he heard Minerva telling Albus "MORE!" _Professor McGonagall must really like her tea_. Harry mused. He continued to the North Tower and proceeded to knock on Sybil's door. Not after the second knock did the trap door open and his divinations professor was ushering him in.

"I had indeed seen this today in one of my classes, come in, come in enjoy some hot liquids from my special china set!" Harry joyfully stepped foot inside the heavily scented room, he saw the table already set with delicious smelling tea. He sat and drank with his teacher for a few hours, until he decided he would ask what some of the objects lying around were. He noticed a small foink colored orb. Foink was the newest color Harry had invented; it was a combination or Rulu and Zeronza, quite a lovely color, one of Harry's favorites actually. He picked up to enquire about the foink orb when he noticed the room starting to drip away like tea, and he simply said, "Penguins, lovely" before popping away to wherever the tea was taking him.

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Harry Potter landed on something rather hard and cold, he didn't have a clue as to what it could be but perhaps maybe the dungeons, whatever the object Harry's vision started swimming before him and his head felt fuzzy and all he could say about the current hard and coldness he had landed on was,

"Home sweet Dursleys……." Before passing out completely.

The students who had been heading for class when a strange boy who looked a lot like James Potter appeared out of no where and simply said "home sweet Dursleys" before passing out. Lusius looked at Bellatrix before she rolled her eyes and levitated him to the infirmary; after all SHE certainly didn't want to be blamed for something she didn't ACTUALLY do. It was a whole different quidditch pitch if she had actually knocked the boy out, then the detention would have been worth something. She sighed,

"Come on Luc, lets take potter look-alike here to Pomfrey." He could do nothing but sighed agitatedly and follow her.

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Madam Pomfrey was in a tizzy she was suppose to be meeting Philip the charms teacher in five minuets and had not even got to pack her toys in her nurses carry aid bag yet. She had not had time since a student was stupid enough to keep walking on a moving staircase and fall almost done almost 8 floors before someone happened to catch her with a floating spell, but not before she had broken a few bones, stupid first years. Just then a couple of seventh years walked in levitating someone who could have been mistaken for James Potter, except he was much scrawnier and had a weird scar on his forehead. She instructed the students to place him on a bed and cast a patronus message to the teacher's class they were suppose to be in. Poppy sighed as she started to heal another patient, her"purely medical" visit with Philip would have to wait for now.

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Harry groaned as he woke up, his head hurt fiercely, and his muscles felt sore and tired. Whoever was near him heard his groan and walked to him. He noticed he was in a bed that was soft and warm; white the opposite of what he had landed on actually.

"Drink this, it will help you head ache, and this one too, this is for your muscles, which she probably be quite sore and in pain, after all you landed on the dungeon floor from quite a height, Mr……….." She trailed off, and Harry pondered this as he finished drinking the second potion. He opened his eyes which were glasses free since his 5th year, and looked at a much younger Poppy, he would know, he went to the hostpital wing a lot.

"Harry, don't you know me?" He asked quizzically. She looked at him for a minuet before answering him.

"No, but if I had to guess I'd say you'd look like James Potter, his twin actually." This confused Harry even more she spoke as if he were alive. Before he could ask what she was talking about, and if she had been eating any shroomabegas lately, professor Dumbledore walked in.

"Poppy, you haven't seen my favorite pair of socks have you? The knit ones with the Kneazles and Hippogriffs having….Oh, I haven't seen you before, are you new?" Harry was stunned and didn't know what to say really, but he figured to just play along with this whole, "Lets pretend we don't remember Harry" thing, maybe he could get out of some classes with this.

"Errrrm, yes sir, I'm a transfer from….Ernie and Burt's School of Magic, in Thailand." Harry shifted nervously, hoping he would buy his story. The headmaster smiled happily and nodded.

"Of course! We had one from there last year! Quite pleasant he was, until he almost murdered our DADA professor. Oh thank you Poppy." Who had handed him his favorite pair of socks he had been searching for.

"We'll have to sort you mister… what was your name?" He asked absently. Harry relaxed and started to act naturally, which was quite different then the golden boy you knew him as. Through out the years he had grown, he had defeated Voldemort the middle of last year; he was now in his 7th year. Harry had become more of the slytherin he would have been had not Voldemort affected his opinion in his 1st year. He was slightly morbid, and a bit insane, like his father…but more of that later. He had started this when his 16th birthday had come and he had received a mysterious letter that had changed his life. It was right before his 6th year at Hogwarts, but again, now was not the time for that, to say the least it was quite an entertaining letter. He realized the headmaster was looking at him for the last 5 minuets waiting for his name still, harry hadn't noticed when he had gotten lost in thought.

"Harry Myren sir." He said coolly, giving the headmaster a gaze void of all emotion. The professor simply nodded and told him to meet him in his office for the sorting hat to place him in a house. Thinking, probably that he had confused the boy, and walked away. Had Harry not been to Hogwarts before then he would have been. He thanked Poppy and followed the Headmaster to his office. He followed the headmaster up the rotating stairs that led to his office, patting Frederick the gargoyle's head as he went by. They arrived and Harry looked towards the hat expectantly, the head master summoned the hat and handed it to Harry.

"Thank you." He said aloofly, though more for politeness that conversation. He placed the hat on his head and smirked as it began to talk. _Ahhhhhh, Mr. Potter, in more trouble are you? Never could keep out of it, though I suppose this would allow you to have a more private and peaceful 7__th__ year. Now where to place you…..ahh Gryffindor isn't you house anymore though you knew that already it seems. Ah no need to get cocky now, _the hat said in reply to Harry rolling his eyes. _Well the decision is as Merlin's follicles,_

"_**SLYTHERIN!"**_Albus Dumbledore smiled and congratulated Harry, which was greeted with Harry's blank face as he sent him to the Slytherin dorms with the password and a promise that clothes would be in his borrowed trunk that would size them selves.

He walked to the dungeons taking many passages that the twins only could dream about finding and telling the portrait of a man with green robes and black hair that looked a lot like Snape the password which ended up being "snake in the lions den" how….slytherin of them. He walked in fully expecting at least few people up and snogging. He wasn't disappointed, there were a number of people in corners or couches and he though he saw the trade mark Malfoy blonde hair on one the sofas with a black haired and half naked witch, who could only be Narcissa black, soon-to-be Malfoy. Harry shook his head, if Draco was with him now he'd be emptying his stomach's contents on the dungeon floor. He shrugged and kept walking, wasn't nearly HALF as bad as seeing his godfather snogging his potions teacher on Truth or Dare night; he had nightmares for weeks after that. He could only IMAGINE how Sirius's mental state was after THAT dare or Snape's for that matter. Harry swiftly and silently went to the empty bed assigned to him and fell asleep, after performing a quick spell to change himself into some silk pajamas. He fell asleep in a moment after his head touched the pillow.

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Harry woke up to the sound of feet approaching his bed; he quickly grasped his wand that was underneath his pillow conveniently, as he slept with his wand hand under his pillow for situations like this. He felt the sheets covering his bead being moved and whispering start around him. Just as he heard the movement of a wand moving in the air and an almost silent incantation, he snapped his wand up and had his attacker bound, stunned, and the threatening wand in his own hand. He looked and saw a boy his age with white-blond hair staring at him and an amused looking Severus Snape behind him watching the whole thing. Harry released the spell after carefully holding onto Lucious's wand.

"Hello, may I help you with anything?" He asked quietly and devoid of any emotion, as if he didn't really care.

"Yes, I'd like my wand back." He told the green-eyed new student. Harry raised his eyebrows.

"After you almost hexed me? Don't try to deny it, you were about to perform the bat-bogey hex, trust me I'd know." He cut off the protests before he could defend himself. He had been hit enough by Ginny's hexes to know when a bat-bogey hex was coming his way.

Another boy came out of the bathroom and shook his head, hearing the whole conversation. "Don't mind him, it's an initiation ceremony of a sorts, you know see if you're really Slytherin material." He told the time traveler.

"And my grade?" Harry asked calmly. Severus rolled his eyes,

"Acceptable." He said in that creepy voice of his. Harry inwardly rolled his eyes, the same Severus never giving credit to where it's due. He didn't really care about their opinions. He was planning on having nice calm and relaxing 7th year. He could do with no friends for a year, after all that meant no drama or trouble and more studying time, who knows maybe he'd be able to learn more without having to worry about a dark lord trying to kill him or two of his friends fighting every 10 minuets and such trivial things like that. He shrugged at the boys in his dorm and tossed Malfoy's wand back onto his bed and proceeded to dress, he knew the other boys wouldn't ask about the scars and such that littered his body after all, they thought him to be a pureblood, one of them and then knew the life of a pureblood was not rainbows with pots of gold at the end, more like a man holding a wand ready to curse you into oblivion than a leprechaun with galleons in a cauldron.

"I'm Rodolphus by the way, this is Lucius and Severus." The dark haired boy Harry hadn't identified told him. Ah Lestrange, how delightful.

"Harry. Myren." Was all he offered before heading off to the great hall for dinner, he couldn't wait. He had dropped into 1979, for that was where he was, obviously, during morning classes and had slept through lunch and was STARVING!

On the way to the great hall Harry had started to feel funny again in the head, maybe it was the after affects from the shroomabegas after all Pomfrey didn't know about the fact that he had ate an odd plant from the Forbidden Forest, just that he fell a long ways onto a stone floor and had a headache and muscle pains. He figured it had worn off, but there must have been an after-affect, because he was seeing kittens running around. He was sure they were delusions because no one else was looking at them, and Harry was sure that 20 black kittens with various colored eye running round the hall and on tables was NOT normal in this time period. Then again, it was a magical community, who knew, Harry grew up muggle. He wished Hermione had been there, she would have known if they were some kind of weird kitten day in 1979 that was mention in Hogwarts: A History. He made a mental note to check it out of the library later and read it.

He sat at an empty spot that wasn't cramped and crowded with people and started eating as the food appeared in front of him. He figured it must have been a weight activated bench, because the food was in front of all the students but was empty where he sat, then appeared when he sat down, had harry been interested in pranks he could have used that spell. Harry wasn't one for pranks much, not since 5th year, he mellowed out a lot. He only was goofy around his friends, and they weren't here. Though he was happy to have no one he knew notice him. He was able to change his looks how he had wanted to since he had started becoming slightly insane.

His hair was longer, and his eyes were more defined without those awful glasses, not much but enough so that he didn't look like James Potter too much. He also had his ears pierced, and a tattoo of a snake and grim wrestling on his right hip bone. The snake was his anigmus form and the grim was how Sirius's anigmus form looked. He had the tattoo for a while and a piercing charm was not that hard. He had a spell that made the newly pierced flesh not close up on him or get infected. He currently had spiked hoops in his ears, and was glaring at his plate, which was filled with spaghetti his favorite meal. However he could not enjoy it much, with this blasted cat picking off his plate! Were allusions SUPPOSED to be able to eat real food? The kitten was the same shade of black as his hair and had the same shade of green eyes as Harry, oddly enough. If harry had been a cat this was how he would have looked, not that he would be a kitten. He picked up some spaghetti and started eating when the damn fluff ball jumped from his lap onto the table and started eating his food! Oh no, not HIS pasta! He picked up the cat and through it to the floor, cats landed on their feet anyway. It landed on the floor on its feet and looked at harry with puppy dog eyes.

"Aren't dogs only able to do that? You're a bloody cat not a dog!" A couple of slytherins looked at him like he was crazy but Harry was too busy angrily telling of the kitten sitting on the bench next to him now for eating his chow.

The headmaster stood up and raised his hands for quiet. Harry who was ignoring the cats climbing all over the table and his food, gave up and listened to the headmaster instead, he OBVIOUSLY wasn't going to be eating anytime soon.

"Students, quiet please" Silence ensued. "I'd like to say we have a new transfer student who arrived a couple days late from the starting day for school, but is here none-the-less, please make welcome Mr. Harry Myren who was sorted into Slytherin. The hall clapped. More from the Slytherins than anyone else. The gryfinndors right our glared while the Raven claws applauded as if they could care less, which they probably didn't always caring about their books and such. The Hufflepuffs clapped timidly as if afraid the Slytherins would curse them for clapping for one of THEIR housemates. It died down and the headmaster who had Harry stand for the introduction signaled for the students to go to class.

A some-what pudgy man, walked over to Harry, he recognized their newest potions master, Professor Slugghorn, who had replaced Severus, who now taught Defense Against the Dark Arts, and did a bang up job with it.

"Hello, lad. I've got your time table for you here, all the classes you wanted and need to graduate, have good day hope to see you excel in potions, best class there is you know." He told harry with a smile and walked off to his class. Harry shook his head and headed to his first class, charms with Prof. Flatwork.

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James Potter was sitting next to his best mate, Sirius Black in Charms, they had just gotten there in time as the bell had rung, His other best mate, Remus Lupin was sitting in the row behind Sirius. Remus was sitting next to their last friend of the group Peter Pettigrew. These four 7th year boys were known as the Marauders. James was having a fantastic day; he had the best friends any bloke could ask for, good grades and a beautiful and goddess of a girl friend. His last year he had convinced Lily Evans to go out with him, he had been asking since he had first met het. They got along a lot better since he matured somewhat. That's not to say he never pranked anyone. After all it was part of who he was, and Lily understood that, but he toned down. That didn't mean he liked the Slytherins any more than he did in first year though.

He grinned and elbowed Sirius,

"Oi, what should we do to the new slytherin? After all we don't want him to think we don't care about our new students. Eh Padfoot?" Sirius smiled,

"Ah, yes right you are Prongs; we have to thing of something good, he wasn't sitting with any of the other snakes but who's to say they didn't warn him about past pranks." Sirius told his best friend.

"Right, something new then." James and Sirius started thinking, Remus knew the look on their faces and instantly shook his head, he knew for a fact that new student was very unfortunate to be sorted into slytherin, James and Sirius HATED the Slytherins way beyond house rivalry.

"Guys," The werewolf said to his friends in a warning tone, "Don't you think the new students needs to get used to the school before you start pranking him?" He asked.

"Oh, but Mooney what better way to be welcome and shown the ropes so to say than to be pranked by the Marauders?" James asked back slyly.

"Yea Mooney don't be such a stickler, right Wormtail?" Peter's head shot up at his nick name and nodded enthusiastically before slumping back down.

"Oi, what's wrong with Peter?" Sirius asked Remus.

"Care of Magical Creatures really took it out of him, and the fact that we have one more class after dinner before we can sleep seems to be making it worse. He stayed up pretty late finishing his transfiguration homework." Remus told them. James looked at Peter with Pity while Sirius didn't really care at the moment, because Flatwork had just entered and started the lesson.

"Hello class, today we'll be reviewing how much you remember from all you other years. "You can never go over the basics too much, we'll be starting with-" The opening of the class door interrupted the teacher and everyone turned to see a boy with long messy raven hair with slightly transparent silver highlights walk in, he was slightly shorter than average height for a 7th year and seemed to not care that he had just walked in to class 7 minuets late.

"Ahh Mr. Myren I assume? Welcome, find a seat anywhere where just going to start reviewing."

"Yes sir, sorry for the lateness professor wont happen again." It sounded like he said out of curtsey more than actually being sorry.

"No worries, this school is quite big, easy to get lost on your first day." The boy nodded and sat at the back opposed to a fellow slithering or anyone else, like he wanted to be alone. The teacher continued with his lesson as the Marauders stared at the new boy, well more like Sirius and James did, Peter was snoring on the desk and Remus was taking notes. Sirius passed James a note inconspicuously though Flitwik would never notice anyway. James opened it and read it before grinning at his friend's genius, for a boy who only cared about witches and sex; he could be scary with his genius for planning pranks. It wasn't going to be good, real good; he couldn't wait for class to end.

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Harry felt eyes on him, and out of the corner of this eye saw his father and godfather staring at him, well they weren't his father or god father YET, but in couple more years maybe. He didn't like it one bit. He knew they didn't like Slytherins actually because Sirius had told Harry how stupid and dangerous it was when he was 17. Their hate went beyond house competition or even the rivalry that always existed between the snakes and lions. His father and Sirius seemed to be the ring leader of it in this time period. Making it worse was that Harry was sorted into Slytherin and since the final battle and well more after his 16th birthday, he seem to have developed a kind of 6th sense. And right now, it was saying something was wrong, badly. He carefully erected a full body shield which he could do easily without exhausting himself; He had a lot more magic since he had killed Voldemort. He almost absorbed his magic as he died, like a vampire feeding of his prey.

By the time the lesson was over with, Harry had remembered spells he hadn't performed since 1st year, many he had forgotten, maybe this extra review year wouldn't be a bad thing after all, and marauders be damned. As the teacher dismissed the students Harry started walking out with the rest of his classmates. He felt a slight protruding force try to surpass his shields; Harry quickly pushed it back with enough force to back fire the spell to its caster. The room was suddenly filled with Slytherins(minuet Harry of course)whose robes had turned a light pink trimmed in a hot pink with a girlish purple lettering spelling across their robes "Ugly" and they all proceeded to sing the Ugly Girl song.

_Wanna go for a ride?_

_Sure, Ken!_

Well, forget it!

I'm an ugly girl, my face makes you hurl  
Sad I have it, I should bag it

_Acne everywhere, unwanted facial hair  
I'm a relation to Frankenstein's creation!_

As the Slytherins sang and everyone was laughing Harry noticed another person under the same effects, but they weren't in slytherin, James Potter was singing just as loud and was doing the same exact dance moves and had the same robes. At the sight of his prankster and arrogant bastard of a father doing this, he burst out laughing. At the sound of the quiet new student's peals of laughter everyone looked to see what was so funny, they joined in at the sight of James own prank backfired on him. The leader of the Marauders pranked by his best mate, on accident!

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Harry slept well that night. The days passed with much the same pattern. Harry had taken to erecting his shields 24/7 and learned not to open any unmarked letters, not that he had before, he knew better, after all he wasn't put into slytherin for nothing. A lot of people underestimated Slytherins, thinking they were stupid enough to get pranked and never suspect the food they ate or things they opened and what-not. When, in fact most pranks they let be played on them. Some of the time they WERE off guard, like the charms class incident that Harry had avoided. But most was purposely letting the Marauders getting them. After all making you enemy think you were stupid is one of the best things you can do, because they underestimate your knowledge, and common sense, and most importantly your nerve to strike back. Slytherins didn't take revenge by pranks or some other petty thing like that, no we go full out hex mode, most curses weren't even legal in Britain, but well were Slytherins what did you expect? So, Harry knew they would never give up with the whole humiliation of James getting hit with his own best mate's pranks o Harry let them have one on him, so they would at least be less aggressive with seeking revenge. It had worked, Gryffindor, so predictable. They hadn't stopped, but they weren't bent on revenge now either, actually it was only James who had been so made. Sirius though it was funny, since it was his prank and he wasn't the one hit. Remus didn't care and Peter, the rat, followed what the majority went with, so naturally sided with Sirius and Remus' look at the situation. Lily thought him to be silly and immature but let him have his way.

So Harry lived pretty normal. The other students knew to leave him alone. They had found he liked his privacy and didn't care which house you were in, he'd hex you either way if you disturbed him. Harry used a good variety or curses and hexes some legal some not so legal. Of course he never permanently hurt some one especially 1st and 2nd year and some 3rd years. A nice menacing glare would do find to make them scurry.

He had made some kind of aquatence with Lucius and Severus and if he had to pick one person he likes more than the rest, he'd pick Rodolphus. He wasn't a bastard most of the times, he knew how to strike fear in someone and was pretty funny. He ended up partnering up with them when he had too, but other than that no friends.

People had tried to question him about his life, where he came from and such but found them selves with an extra appendage. He made it clear he did not like girls nor was he interested in them at all. Simply by stating after the 58th girl had asked him out that,

"I do not care for girls and their whims or their cravings, I'd like to have a nice bloke to partner with that way if I'd have to come by an heir I'd simply have to adopt and perform a blood changing potion rather than go through the hellish torture that is called pregnancy. And rest assured I already have one in mind and he is not here." This left many girls with broken hearts, some blokes with disappointment in mind and a very shocked great hall at the fact that he basically shouted it for the whole room to hear without a bit of embarrassment. After that he was left alone.

The days went by and it was already half way through the year. Up until now he had ignored the growing death eaters and their very much alive leader. He knew that Tom Riddle was alive and well. He did not care nor concern him self in what they did or spied on, until he became their target. The Dark Lord had heard of this mysterious stranger and wanted to know more. He had heard of the power this boy had and was curious.

"**Curiossssssity killed the cat." **Nagini hissed at Tom, he glared at her, he HATED when people said that, they never finished the saying! The next person to say that he would Avada Kadavra on the spot!

"**And sssssatissssfation brought it back!" **The snake shook its head and went back to sleep. Tom gleefully locked the door and went to his armoire that was locked; he unlocked it and looked into the mirror. Time to find out about this Harry Myren.

"Mirror, mirror in my dresser, show me this pester!" The mirror looked at him oddly and asked him,

"Pester sir?" Tom scowled

"Show me who this boy really is!" The mirror shook its not existent head and asked him self how he had ended up with this whacko again, before showing a cackling and slightly disturbing dark lord the boys true identity.

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Harry was having a good day. For a Thursday, see he wasn't superstitious but Thursdays seem to be always bad for him, he never knew why. It was only few weeks of school left and he was wondering how he was to return home, for Dumbledore didn't know who he really was. He had been searching the subject of time travel, but found nothing. In his Magical theories class, they had a subject of their choosing to pick. Harry had picked Time travel, so that way he could get a pass to the restricted section to look for the right books for his essay and his way home also, after you presented your essay to the class the teacher would give any info left out, Harry thought this the best way to find out more about time travel and how the foink orb had gotten him hear, by blending his need for the subject with this academic reasons.

It didn't help much; nothing much was known on the subject, in this time and Harry's time. He actually started to think he might be stuck in 1979. He couldn't change anything nor did he want to, sure he had not parents but he loved Sirius like a father and that's all he needed, and the fact that Voldemort was gone, and everything was perfect. Not too many people died thankfully.

Still as he thought about it, he got depressed and headed for the owlery to think and clear his mind; he wasn't hungry much for lunch anyhow.

__________________________________________________

Sirius Black and James Potter were eating lunch. Discussing the newest pranks and its intended target. They had decided to go for Sirius less liked cousin Bellatrix, she loved her hair and they had found the perfect spell to do enough damage to make her drop dead!

Over the year they had gotten on better terms with Myren, they knew he was playing with them, that he let them have some and for that they respected his knowledge of pranks, you had to be good to outsmart a marauder, they had gotten McGonagall and THAT was saying something, she was VERY observant. They weren't friends, because the fact was that Myren avoided everyone like the plague except maybe Rodolphus Lestrange, he seemed to like him more than the others.

The Marauders had tried pranks that would REALLY get to Myren, but none did! They went to try black mail but could find NOTHING on this boy! The them tried taunting him about his sexual orientation but it didn't do much, however it DID rile up some of the other Slytherins when the marauders accused them of being his gay lover, it was always fun to see Malfoy or Snivellus's face when they had thrown that at them. Of course Myren didn't seem to care. He seemed to KNOW that they didn't mean it; after all they were must trying to find the right button to push.

Currently they were in lunch, pondering over the mystery that was Harry Myren, he was hiding something and they wanted to know what.

"Oi, you gonna eat that Sirius?" Peter asked his friend who seemed absorbed in his thoughts. Sirius looked down at his plate which Peter seemed to be eyeing.

"Wormtail, there is more in the table, even if I don't eat this, there is a while BOWL of mashed potatoes!" Peter seemed to realize this as he attacked the bowl with said potatoes. James shook his head,

"I think you've rubbed off on him too much Padders, he eats almost as much as you now!" Remus nodded in agreement as he watched Peter scarf down the food like it was his last day to live.

Sirius was about to reply when there was a crash and the doors to the great hall banged open and there stood Tom Riddle.

Dumbledore stood up with his wand drawn along with all the teachers. He smiled and snapped his fingers and his death eaters appeared at the staff table preventing them from casting from fear of being killed. Tom strutted foreword, eyeing Dumbledore. He had the doors shut but not locked behind him. He had more death eaters make sure no student ran.

"So Albus you've been hiding quite a secret here haven't you?" The older man looked honestly confused at this. The Dark Lord's eyes filled with mirth, the bad kind of course.

"Ha, you don't know do you?!" He laughed; it would have been very attractive if everyone wasn't so scared.

"Tom, whatever do you mean?" The Dark Lord looked at him.

"Did you not know? You have a Time traveler in your school?" The old man looked at him passively all the while shocked at this news, when? And how did he not know this?

"If I could please have Harry Potter come forth!" Tom yelled out merrily, in a very terrifying way. No one moved, his smile disappeared. He looked around and scanned faces all terrified to see him. He was not here; he must have not come yet. He smiled he would come sooner or later to the great hall.

James Potter was shocked, another Potter? He did not have any other family his age that came to Hogwarts, no cousins, siblings, nothing. There was no one by the name Harry Potter here! After this thought, the Great Hall doors opened to reveal a very calm Harry Myren.

__________________________________________________

Harry had enough time to him self and was hungry. He knew he'd be late to classes but wanted to grab something, and apple or roll or something. He noticed it was too quiet that no one was around. He shrugged, he didn't care he just wanted something to eat. He went to the great hall and opened the doors expecting to find it empty, this was not the case.

The doors revealed to him a very human looking Lord Voldemort, who was more of Tom Riddle than Voldemort right now. Tom smiled at him as he saw him,

"Ahhh Harry Potter, about time you came, yes I know who you are." Harry stared at him until his thoughts blurted out of his mouth.

"What the bloody hell are YOU doing here?!" Everyone stared in shock, he never did talk much and to hear him with so much emotion was uncommon, then again this WAS the Dark Lord that caused it so, maybe it shouldn't have surprised them that much. Tom smiled.

"I heard of a young wizard who was very powerful, I became curious-" There was a mutter of how curiosity killed the cat, and Tom quickly turned around and true to his word from before AK'd the person who had said it. Down fell Professor Slugghorn, oh well.

"As I was saying, I became curious and checked into it using my magical mirror of DOOM! And found out that YOU Harry Potter are my demise in the future, the one to defeat me and stop my conquest for domination of the Wizarding World, YOU Harry Potter-"

"Stop calling me that will you?" A bored voice interrupted Tom's masterful speech.

"Excuse me?" Tom asked him incredulously.

"I said stop calling me Potter, I have a new name now." He looked up from cleaning his nails and smirked at the glowering Tom Riddle.

"And why _Potter _would you have a new name?" Harry sighed exasperated.

"Because I am _not _a Potter, as I discovered on my 16th Birthday. You see, my mother and intended father had a little….accident." Tome stared at him,

"An accident?" he asked curiously. Harry nodded

"You see I received a letter on my 16th birthday at the beginning of last year, stating that James Potter wasn't REALLY my father. You see, my father was betrothed to some tramp that his parents said would gain more status, of course they hadn't realized that Lily finally agreed to go out with him."

"So you are saying Lily and James are not your real parents?" Tom Riddle asked, Harry cheerfully smiled then let out a giggle,

"No silly rabbit trix are for kids!" Everyone looked at him in amazement at the sheer randomness of what he had just said.

"Ahem, no, Lily IS my mother, but…James is not my father." The Dark Lord and everyone else now were curious about this and how this happened.

"Care to explain?" Tom prompted.

"Of course, you see because he was betrothed he told his parents about Lily but they told him he had no reason to break off the agreement, since on the contract you simply could not say love got in the way, so instead my dad figured getting Lily knocked up would do nicely." Tom raised a brow at that, while Lily and James were blushing bright red, while Sirius was cat calling at them.

"But you said James wasn't your father." Tom Asked,

"Yup! You see no matter HOW many times they tried it just didn't work so James found a spell that would make a women pregnant, see it would kind of like apparate the semen into the womb then Ta-da, she's Prego, and I don't mean the sauce either!" The muggleborns laughed at the pun, while the wizard looked around quizzically.

"What's that have to with-"

Let me finish Tom." Harry told I'm devilishly. "You see he got it wrong, it DID make the women pregnant but not with the chosen semen, but with whomever genetics would best go with the women's genes you see." Tom's eyes lit up,

"Oh! That makes sense, well then now Harry Not-Potter, I will kill you!" He raised his wand, Harry laughed and chillingly enough it sounded as scary as the Dark Lords.

"You can't you know, after all I got my magic from the best, you see when the man who is my biological father found out, he was not in his right mind, he was being taken over by another side of him, one that was very evil you see, but he was VERY powerful, I'm SURE you know who I'm talking about." Harry smirked at the disbelieving look on Tom Riddle's Face.

"No….."

"Yes, how else would I have this?" Harry rolled up with sleeve and removed glamour off his arm, uncovering a tattoo or symbol imbedded in this skin, it was of serpent with its fangs bared, and had ruby red eyes with a tiny symbol in the middle of them.

"That's, that's my…."

"Your family crest, it can't be copied the symbol in the center is in parsletongue, a symbol that the Riddle Family line made up, every son born of the Riddle line is born with one. You see the only reason I could kill you was because I am of your flesh and power," He paused here then smirked before saying, "Father." Tom Riddle couldn't speak; it was the perfect time for one blond haired Malfoy to burst into the Great Hall. Harry turned around and smiled at the sight of one of his best friends.

"Hello Harry, I heard the last part of you little speech, bet he feels like he wants to faint about now." Harry laughed gleefully,

"Draco, now how did YOU get here?" Draco grinned widely before saying,

"Well I figured I'd be heroic and try to save you, you know bring you back and all, course had to change my appearance at first, then said screw it, whoa! Speaking of appearances, you look…"He trailed off as he ogled Harry's new Hair and slightly gothic earrings." He looked him up and down, his mouth hanging open. Harry laughed before telling Draco,

"You gonna be a married man soon you know, better get used to not _looking." _Harry stressed the word. Draco glared at him,

"Yea well I'm working on getting out of that." He mumbled, Harry's eyes widened before he stifled his laughter to get the question out.

"Are you…saying you're playing the hero…to get your god father to cancel the contract?" Draco's face said it all. Harry burst out laughing. Draco glared even more, before growling out

"See if I help YOU anymore!" he sniffed Harry laughed more before stopping Draco's sudden change of facial expression.

"What is it?" He wondered, horror etched on Draco's face.

"Uncle Sev, he's gonna KILL me when he finds out I went ahead and used the potion he had been making to get you out with out him1" Harry smirked at him as if saying "sucks to be you1" then Draco added,

"Sirius insisted on coming too!" Harry's smugness dropped before cursing,

"Oh SHIT! I'm so grounded for life! But I mean it's not like I ASKED to be dropped (literally) in 1979!"

"No, but you DID eat the amortia that counteracted with Trelawney's orb."

"Is that what it was? Well I'd do again, since I'm gonna be DEAD soon, and Sirius is gonna kill me! Can you believe it? My own god father!" Draco pondered this statement,

"Isn't there a name for a father killing his son?" He asked, Harry shook his head,

"No, the word you're thinking of is Patricide and that would be me killing my father." Draco laughed; Harry looked at him in question.

"Well, isn't that what you did?" Harry though about this before glaring at Draco.

"Besides I though Patric-whats-it meant you fucked you father."

"No Draco that's called incest." Harry rolled his eyes wondering why they were having this conversation.

"Well whatever it's the same thing anyway."

"It is not!" Harry protested. The had obviously forgotten they had an audience.

"Psh! Whatever it is for me, their both illegal anyhow, no difference in my book." Draco stated. Harry raised his eyebrows and smirked.

"So, you had sex with you dad then?" at this Lucius was gaping and Narcissa had slapped him, Draco looked at Harry like someone had slapped _him._

"Of course not! I killed the bastard, I didn't-"Harry cut him off,

"You said there was no difference between incest and patricide so therefore if you killed him; in your book you had sexual intercourse with your father." Harry smirked at Draco's dumbfounded look. Draco was going to answer when they heard the recognizably voice one Sirius Black,

"_HARRY JAMES POTTER!_" Harry and Draco's faces reflected each other. Their god fathers were here.

"Shit! Run!" Harry was panicking

"Where to genius?! There is nowhere to go!" Harry looked around wildly around the Great Hall, and noticed the doors near, the teachers table

"There! C'mon!" he grabbed Draco and quickly pulled out his cloak and map that he ALWAYS kept in this pocket, shrunk to fit. He whipped the cape around them then got the map out and quickly ran off.

____________________________________________

James Potter didn't know if he could be shocked anymore apparently he could not only did he just learn about his VERY fucked up future but he just saw the person who WOULD have been his son, take out the cloak and Marauders map he currently had, he must have passed it down, but still it shocked him, but NOTHING prepared him for the shock of seeing Sirius and Snape grown up and stalking into a room looking for errant God Sons.

"Where are they?" Sirius growled out.

"How should I know mutt, I'm not the one who yelled for all of Thailand to hear me. If you had been quiet we could have snuck UP on them but no you had to go barking out the alarm, now they've ran, they could be anywhere! God knows how many hiding places Potter and Draco know combined!" Sirius was muttering and Snape rolled his eyes at the dog.

"AHA!" Sirius yelled, Snape jumped then glared at him,

"What now?!" Sirius grinned.

"Well Harry's got the map but there is another copy right in the room we could use it find them!" Snape's eyes lit up in understanding.

"For once, you actually used your brain congratulations Black." Sirius snorted out a laugh and accio'd the map from his younger self, into his hand.

"Hey!" Younger Sirius yelled.

"Just borrowing I assure you" Sirius grinned at his younger self, and about 20 or more girls fell down in a dead faint and 12 had nosebleeds.

"Still have the tough I see." Younger Sirius crowed, Lily rolled her eyes and smacked him upside the head.

"Still on a tight leash I see." Snape muttered, this time it was Snape getting hit upside the head by Sirius, who had found his errant god son.

"Found them!" Snape looked over and nodded.

"It would make sense to go there. The RoR then?" Sirius nodded and they both ran out on a rampant for the elusive duo, and boy did all the people in the Great Hall feel bad for them, for any person being searched out by Severus Snape and Sirius Black working TOGETHER, Merlin help them.

Remus was gaping and peter had fainted by now, James was looking eager and Sirius was pouting still from Lily's head slap. James got up quickly,

"Lets follow the, they have our map after all!" the two agreed (peter is still out cold) and followed under James's cloak without being noticed. Dumbledore was to busy keeping Tom occupied, in order for someone to contact the Ministry of Magic.

Meanwhile……

Harry and Draco had run around the whole castle to different places so that if their god fathers had done a tracking spell they would be dragged all around the castle before even getting close to their real location by which time they would have moved, however they did not take into account the other map. Draco and Harry had nothing to do so to occupy themselves they did what they usually did, snog of course. Harry wasn't kidding when he said he was gay and that he already had found his mate, now that damn marriage contract was the only thing in the way.

**_LEMON ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

Harry found himself pinned to a nice comfy couch, underneath Draco's weight, which he didn't mind, it felt quite good. He ground himself up into Draco, all the while Draco' s tongue was mapping out Harry's mouth, Harry ran his hands lightly up underneath Draco's shirt going up his sides. Draco shivered at the light touches and broke the kiss off.

"Dray." Harry whispered, Draco looked into Harry's lust filled emerald eyes, and felt himself go hard to just look into them. He shivered at the way Harry had said the name he had called him since they had started there unusual friendship.

Draco lifted Harry's shirt off his tanned body, that wasn't so malnourished anymore, not with Draco and Sirius there to keep him fed and well. He traced patterns on his stomach and he delicately licked at a nipple. Harry hissed at the feel of Draco's tongue. He burrowed his hands into his fair hair, so much like his father yet not.

Draco had moved to the other one and was moving to down to dip is tongue into Harry's navel quickly before withdrawing, causing Harry to whine and plead for Draco to give him release. Draco carefully undid Harry's jeans and slid them down to his hips and pulled his boxers with them. His fully hard cock sprung free and Draco stared at it before looking up into Harry's eyes as he wrapped his mouth around it. Harry groaned at the feel of a hot wetness around his engorged member. Draco nearly cummed right there at the sight of his lovers pleasure.

He sped up and started to deep throat his dick. The head hit the back of Draco's through and Harry gave out with a loud scream of,

"Draco, oh god! Merlin, I…love you!" He fell back spent and Draco let his softening cock slip out of his mouth he leaned up and kissed Harry and replied,

"I love you too my little serpent." He cuddle Harry too him, but Harry felt Draco's problem and instantly woke up a bit he felt Draco through his jeans making the boy moan, he slid his pants and boxers down and off him totally along with is own. He conjured up some lube and started to stretch himself with one hand while sliding his other slick hand on Draco's shaft.

Draco groaned at the sight of his lover playing with himself but couldn't watch for much longer, he wanted to be doing that to Harry no matter how hot it looked to see him touching himself. He stopped Harry and lubed up his own fingers and finished stretching his lover's tight ass. After he was done he set his slick cock (thanks to Harry) at the entrance to his lover. Harry nodded and he slid in fully in one thrust, already used to the feel Harry cried out for more.

"Dray! Please! **Want you to go fassssster! Pleasssse!**" Draco sped up, hearing Harry speak in Parsletongue always turned him on even more.

"God, HARRY! SO. !" he pounded away into Harry with abandoned. At last he felt a tightening in his balls and knew Harry was close by how he was panting so heavily. The played with Harry's sacs for a little but before Harry lost it and came with a louder cry than last time, Draco's scream in synch with Harry's, the both collapsed into the couch in a sweaty messy heap of limbs.

**_END LEMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

_________________________________________________

Sirius and Severus heard two identical screams before looking at each other and running faster up the stairs, it wasn't long before they got to the door of the Room of Requirement. They quickly opened the door to see…..

Harry and Draco sitting and laughing on a coach in a room that looked a lot like Slytherin and Gryffindor common room combined. The boys noticed the god fathers and glanced at the map, they obviously had forgotten to look to see if they were coming or not. The both marched up to their respective sons before the questioning began,

"What were you thinking?"

"-the bloody hell did you thinking running would do-"

"-heard screams and panicked, only to find you sitting here like-"

"-in SO much trouble mister!"

"-grounded for the rest of your LIFE!"

"And most importantly, YOU HAD ME WORRIED SICK!" They both ended in unison yelling the same thing before looking at their god sons, who had gone pale.

"Well, you see uncle Sev, I heard you were going to get Harry and well I wanted to help to, so I though I'd come and save you the trouble" He said innocently. Severus snorted,

"And it had nothing to do with you missing your wedding preps with pansy and her parents this afternoon?" Draco looked away and didn't say anything. Severus sighed; Harry moved to let him sit down and went over to the other couch to sit next to Sirius, to give them privacy to talk.

"Draco." Severus murmured. He still didn't look at him, biting his lip he looked at the armrest.

"Draco look at me!" He turned his god sons head toward him and looked into his silver eyes that reminded him of Lucius, they were usually so guarded but they were wide open, and Severus saw what they said. His eyes softened.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Draco looked at him before saying,

"You wanted me to, mother would have wanted me to-"Severus cut him off,

"This is about Lucius isn't it?" Draco swallowed, "He is not here anymore, and I am. And I want you to be happy, if you don't want to marry Pansy then you don't have to, I don't want you to do anything, unless it makes you happy, that's what I want. Can you give that to me?" He asked him. Draco nodded, it looked like he would have cried, his father never was loving nor was his mom really. Severus hugged the boy to him in a fatherly manner. Draco gratefully returned it.

While this was going on Harry explained what had happened exactly, including how he had got here, who he had met and all the pranks. Sirius had laughed at them until he had a question.

"So, you really don't like women Harry?"Sirius asked. Harry was afraid of this, not so much the Gay part cause he was sure Sirius was gay too, they just never said it. It was who he picked for a boyfriend he feared the reaction for on both Sirius and Severus's account.

"Yes, and before you ask I was serious when I said I had found some one." He was quiet afraid to say anything else.

"Harry you know I don't care you gay-"

"I know, I'm just afraid or your reaction to my choice of partner." Sirius gently touched his shoulder.

"Who is it Harry?" Harry mumbled something,

"What was that?" Sirius questioned.

"So Draco," he said gently but teasingly, "who is this lady that caught your eye?" Draco's happy smile vanished and went back to worrying, Severus frowned.

"Ummm, well you see it's not really a _lady_ per se…"He trailed off looking at his god father. Severus didn't bat an eyelash'

"Yes, as far as I was aware you're….father." Severus cringed at bringing that up,"was bi." Draco was relived at this, however when Severus brought up the fact he still hadn't told him who Draco mumbled out,

"Harry." Severus having excellent ears stared at his god song,

"Come again?"

Both groups of god son and god father looked at each other. The only though running through the air was,

"How the bloody hell did **this **happen!"

________________________________________________________

Both god fathers agreed it was better to discuss this back in their own time, so would not worry about anything until they were back to their original time period. They entered the great hall to find Tom Riddle and Dumbledore in a thumb war because it seems that both sides were to equal in power and no one had won the duel, so a first year had timidly suggested a thumb war. Of course Tom never having played one requested several practice matches until he got the hang of it. Currently the headmaster had a bit of an advantage, and kept using the cherry bomb tactic, which the first year kept insisting was an illegal move and unethical in a thumb war. Harry rolled his eyes and stood until both men noticed him and stopped their muggle war.

"Ahhh, Harry……I can't call you Riddle I don't even know you that well."

"Yes, well you aren't my father, my Father was Tom Riddle and you have already developed into Voldemort, the man who sent that letter was a non-corrupted Tom Riddle, you are not longer him." Voldemort shrugged, he did care when he was considered human that much he remembered.

"Well it is time to end this thing Harry Potter!" He told him in a big scary voice, at least it was suppose to be, but not to Harry in the least. He pointed his wand at him and just as he was about to speak Draco spoke up,

"Hey Harry suppose he'd want to see that new spell you learned?"

""What spell?" The Dark Lord asked curiously Harry and Draco grinned at each other, before Harry said let,

"Let me show you!" and cast a spell that turned the Dark Lord into a pile of Ashe with a wand on top. Everyone stared at him in awe, expecting him to speak, but he would do no such thing, so instead Draco pointed out with a grin,

"Well you know what they say, curiosity killed the Tom cat."

**My god! Twenty-five pages! Phew, hope you enjoy; it's very messed up! REVIEW!!!!**


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